In the whole Refresh Your Life Project, the subject of Life Long learning has come up repeatedly. I would love to hear from you all about your experiences with life-long learning. As we mature I think we start to learn from so many more sources than when we are young, or is it that we become wise enough to recognize how many sources of learning surround us every day? We learn from friends, from music, from performances (and events, and festivals), from games, broadcasts (be they on TV, radio, podcasts, or movies), we learn from books, from food ( and restaurants), from classes and from trial and error or experimentation.

It doesn’t make a big difference what it is we are trying to learn( cooking, arts & Crafts, physical activity, dance, intellectual pursuits, job related skill sets, a language, a musical instrument, a meditative or spiritual practice;  whatever it is we can learn it a number of different ways and I think that is great.

When I was growing up in Massachusetts, maybe I was surrounded with bad teachers but I was often told there was only one way to do things. I was told that there was a right way and everything else was wrong. This applied to learning as well. As I aged, I realized how wrong and limiting this philosophy was.

Now as a person over 21 who is excited by people learning I want to shout from the rooftops (obviously I do not shout inside the library- that would be WRONG) how important it is to figure out your learning style and employ it. I knew someone who wanted to learn a language using the music and cooking of that culture. I think that’s great. It wouldn’t work for everyone, but I have come to think that there is very little that is transferred successfully to everyone uniformly (Maybe a parent’s love, but even that has a lot of little differences in it if you look carefully).

My message is this, figure out what you want to learn and how you want to learn it. Then do it! Enjoy the resources around you and become a resource for others. It might be something small like how to butter a piece of toast, but you never know what that might mean to the person learning.

Learn and teach and then learn and teach and then… Do it more often than you lather and repeat.

You need no advice from me. Go sing! Dance ! Whoop it up! Celebrate. When we meet our goals and we advance through our projects whatever they are, it feels great! I don’t know another feeling that compares with when a project turns out better than we envisioned. It is a problem describing it to friends who have never known that satisfaction. I think that when art works, there is very little that compares, it is addicting, it makes one feel bigger, more special, as if we were super. It is disappointing when there are times when we are reminded very clearly that that exaltation is momentary, that the euphoria we experience is special, not every day, we are brought back to earth as mere mortals.

One of my favorite quotes concerns Amelia Earhart. When she was asked “How can you spend all your time up in the air?” She turned to the person and said, ” And I can’t understand why you spend all your time on the ground.”

Most of us can only work towards being frequent fliers, not towards growing wings. Appreciate what you have, when you have it. When you are on the earth, appreciate what you have here, don’t sit mourning the flight delays.

Here’s wishing you the highs that go with a job well done, the safe landings that come with terrestrial existence, and the eyes and heart to appreciate both positions as they occur.

Smooth sailing whether on the sea, in the air or in your writing.

How are you doing on working with your goals? Sometimes we make a goal that says we will do X every day. What happens when we don’t succeed in doing this?

Let’s say we said that we were going to write three pages a day for this week. It’s Wednesday and we’ve only written 2 pages for the week. What should we do? What should we think about this?

The answers are up to you.

There are a couple of ways to deal with not meeting our goals.

1.) The goals were un-realistic, so this is the time to re-assess and change our goals so we can meet them more  often.

2.) This is a week where unusual things came up and prevented us from working on our pages every day, we should see it just as that and move on. See if we write three pages a day for the rest of the week.

3.) There is something stopping us-

Be it a plot situation- I can’t figure out how to have Juliette and Romeo live happily ever after. I’ve been working on scenarios but I haven’t figured out the one that satisfies the needs of the characters. This is necessary work and should count just as the written pages would.

Maybe what is stopping us is another kind of road block, in that case - face whatever it is and deal with it. It could be as simple or complex as fear. Writer’s block can be fear disguised as I have nothing to write. Fear can be disguised as almost anything. It is also something that can be faced straight on. Acknowledge what you are afraid of.

If you are writing autobiography, memoir or journaling and you are afraid of putting something down on paper because someone might read it- that’s a big issue and one must deal with it. There are different ways to deal with it. Let’s say it is writing about a fight with your mother in law. You don’t want your spouse to read it because you let loose in your writing and let her have it but you don’t want your spouse to read what you really think about his/her mother. You should be able to write and have a safe place where your thoughts are your own. It does not matter whether the paper is bound in a journal or in a pile by your printer, make sure that there is somewhere that is yours to express yourself without fear of prying eyes.

That being said, don’t abuse the system and leave your journal out or your print outs on the dining room table. You should be able to express yourself and keep it to yourself at the same time. If you want to say something to someone say it, don’t do it in a passive-aggressive way of leaving a journal lying open on the only table in the living room or dining room table and then get upset when some member of the household reads it.

If you are scared about having someone read something you have written deal with that when you get ready to publish something not when you are writing.

If the problem is something physical- hardware wise, your printer or computer is on the blink, deal with that and then get back to your writing three pages. Or deal with it and write long hand your three pages and have the satisfaction that you are moving ahead on your goals as well as dealing with the day to day trials we must all deal with.

The point is do not let your not meeting your goals defeat you from moving ahead. Figure out what is preventing you from moving ahead, check that you still are interested in these goals and then step forward one step( no matter how small) and follow that with another step and pretty soon, you are covering distance, you are on your way.

Good luck andI’ll hope for smooth sailing for us all

It is a cliche that we all need a good night’s sleep but it is true. You can go to any search engine and find data that will back me up on this. What happens when you can’t get to sleep? Sometimes when we are in the middle of a big project, we think of great ideas once we’re in bed and the world is moving along without us. The house is usually quiet, the streets outside are less noisy, maybe the rest of the people in the household are quiet and or asleep. It’s a perfect time for the creative brain to come up with something that during the day we were too busy to think about. Make sure you have a writing implement and a piece of paper by your bed. This of course helps you to write down your dreams the minute you awake. I find that being able to write down the idea means that the brain doesn’t have to obsess about remembering it in the morning which can be one reason you don’t get to sleep- You are trying to remember something important for the next day.

Take paper and pen with you everywhere, that way you don’t have to try and remember, it’s written down. There is no stress. Now I have had friends who have said but then I have to remember to take the pad out at the end of the walk and do the task or transfer this idea to a bigger list or what have you. I can’t help you with that. Just make it a habit to have writing tools with you when you walk, ride in a moving vehicle, when you are going to bed, when you are waiting for the dentist. You will find these notebooks fill up. You will find they are helping you move ahead.

Sleep is an amazing place to be creative, mine it if you want. You’ll be surprised by what you find, if you can write it down when it’s fresh.

Now if you are awake in the middle of the night and can’t get back to sleep, your public library helps you again- Read. I can’t think of any books that will put you to sleep immediately but I am sure you’ll be able to find something. The other kind of book to find is something that you’ll enjoy reading but that will settle your mind down to be quiet enough to take you back to sleep

Sweet dreams….

Sometimes we do not seem to be getting our to do list items checked off. Why not? Is there something preventing us from moving ahead?

Are we procrastinators? Do we really want to move ahead?

I am a big supporter of writing out our fears or our excuses for why something isn’t getting done. It could be simple

To Do

Get photographs developed.

Why isn’t this getting done? The store that developes my film is closed for the holidays. That is fine. It should re-open and then I can get my photographs.

What if the reason is my car is broken down and so I can’t get to the store? Well, it could be you have bigger problems than undeveloped film to worry about  and this goal will have to be resumed later when the car is fixed. Or is there a bus that goes to that same store? Could a friend drop off the rolls of film? Could I have them developed through the mail?

The point is to look at the reason we are not doing what we said was important to us. No one else writes these to do lists. We do. We say what is important.

That can change, maybe when we wrote the list this was something I thought I wanted to do but now in the wake of my car being in need of repairs, the film doesn’t seem important. Then let it be. Take the film off the list and put it on a list for things to do later…

What if I don’t seem to be getting anything done at all? Then maybe you have to speak with someone, maybe the problem is not the things to be done but something else. Winter depression can be a factor.  Look at the issues and then decide what is going on.

Remember the library is a place where we have resources. We have books on getting things done, efficiency, Martha Stewart, depression, organization, universities if you want to pursue education, how to write books if you want to pursue that,  basically we have ways to help you pursue whatever you are interested. Come and check us out, we might be able to help you move ahead on your list.

Moving ahead with your dreams is a mixture of being strict with yourself and being flexible. It’s all about prioritizing. What is most important to you right now? Is it tv watching or writing another chapter? Is it reading a mystery or spending time with your grandmother? Only you can know how you should best spend your time, your energy and your life.
Good Luck. You’ll find you have a lot of energy when you are doing what you love. Go do it!

So last time we talked about setting goals and making the steps to reaching those goals realistic.

What about if you think you have sketched out realistic steps towards a goal but you seem to be getting nowhere?

I mentioned to keep your goals in front of you and check that list often.

That is one way to keep centered on your goals and remember why you are doing what you are doing.

Let’s take the goal of going to Library School to become a Librarian.

Your list might look like this;

1) Research library schools as to geographic area(where they are), cost(how much they cost),programs(what they cover),admissions requirements, what they have to offer.

2) See if you can work in a library to check out what a great place they are to work in and what kind of work one does in a library.

3) Decide on a particular school. Decide how to pay for library school. Decide where to live for Library School.

4) Write for the admissions package or more likely go online. Make sure you understand what has to be submitted when. Look to see if there is funding available to you from some source.

5) Finish senior year of four year college.

6) Graduate ! Yeah!!!

7) Go to Library School – this means probably two or three years to complete your Masters of Library and Information Science Degree. During this time is also when you can decide on what kind of librarian you want to become(Academic versus Public or Special). Start networking to look for a job in a library.

Now let’s say you make out your list and you never get around to completing #1. What does that mean?

It could mean that you are simply being lazy and you should have a good talking to yourself. It also could mean that there is something you are avoiding. If going to Library school means leaving your family, maybe that is a bigger step than you were anticipating. If going to Library school means becoming more professional than anyone in your family, maybe that feels too awkward and you are scared to make that step. If going to Library school means that you will distance yourself from all the people you knew growing up, maybe that is something you are not ready to do.

Can you see how simply not being able to do one of the steps could mean all sorts of things besides that you are simply not getting the next tick box checked off?

Sometimes we have to examine what the to do list item really is. Is this step something that is pushing our buttons, our emotions in a way that we didn’t anticipate? More on that in the next post….

 
It is an old saying but true. You will most likely get where you want to go if you know how to get there. Think about your goals for the year 2010 or better yet simply January 2010.

I am a big user of to do lists. I know they are not for everyone but I do think they can keep us realistic in our endeavors.

If I said I only have three things on my  to do list for January, you’d say- Ok that’s easy they will get done. Wait a minute. You didn’t ask what they are.

Trudy’s to do list for January 2010:

1.)    Cure Cancer

2.)    End World Poverty

3.)    Ensure World Peace

Now you see the problem. They are not realistic items on a  to do list.

#1 would have to get broken down into do-able bits:

1a) Raise ten million dollars (with the help of thousands of helpers worldwide) to conduct research.

1b) Find tens of thousands of helpers worldwide to raise money for cancer research.

1c) Research what causes one kind of cancer.(with the help of thousands of helpers worldwide).

1d) Find thousands of helpers to help do coordinated research worldwide on one kind of cancer.

1e) once cure is found, run clinical tests worldwide. Work out any problems.

1f) If this works, repeat all these steps with each kind of cancer that exists.

1g) Repeat this process with all known diseases.

Only then would I be able to move onto #2!

So one has to look at the goals and see what needs to be done to accomplish that goal.

Let’s say you want to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Most people would write it:

1.)    Make PB & J.

But now you know you’d have to know if you have bread, peanut butter, jam, a spreader….

So for January and for 2010, choose doable goals, break them down to doable bits, accomplish one and then move on to the next. Prioritizing the goals will help you accomplish them.

Remember that issues will arise. If you know the steps you need to take to accomplish your goals, you will be more likely to stay on course. Review your goals often. If something no longer is applicable, take it off the list. If you find out that more needs to be done to accomplish a goal, then re-assess the process, insert the needed steps and then go along on towards your goal.

Go! Enjoy! Succeed!

My best wishes!

People who have suffered traumas during the year find the holidays especially tough to get through.

I’m including people who have lost a life partner to death, to infirmity, dementia, or simply they left. I am including people who have lost their jobs, their homes, their self esteem, or maybe their confidence.

Sometimes it is a simple matter to help someone. Sometimes there is not much you can do except maybe listen if the person needs to talk. Sometimes it is just including that person in your plans even if those plans are as boring as going grocery shopping.

One of the great places of healing can be the public library. We offer people a free place to learn. If people in pain,  get interested in something new, they think less about their painful past and more about a brighter future. This something new can be as simple as a new author they adore. Be sure to recommend an author who has written a lot of books like J.D.Robb or Jonathan Kellerman,  that way if your friend enjoys the first book they have enough books to keep engrossed for weeks or months!

The Public library also has activities. It is a place where all sorts of people can come together at no cost to listen to an author, to talk about a book,  or to learn about Japanese painting. It is a way for people to come together without a formal introduction, to maybe learn about Laughter Yoga or something else fun and new. It is a way to meet new people once a month. This type of connection is informal yet can grow into friendship or simple remain at the level of the person who you see every month at the library Autobiography book discussion group or the knitting group.

Reach out to people. Suggest activities. Listen to them over a cup of tea. It’s sometimes a blessing for you both. I sometimes think of it as a Karmic savings account, do well by other people so should one ever fall on bad times, there will be people out there to bring over a casserole, suggest a book club, ask me to go for a nice long walk. Try it.

          I think we should start a humor journal. Write down five things every day that strike you as funny. I think this might give us all a lift. I would hope they were not at someone else’s expense.

I think it’s funny when little dogs bark at big dogs and the big dogs back up.

I think it’s funny when I can’t remember anything about a book but the color of its cover.

I think it’s funny when I keep repeating the same wrong word in a sentence. I mean to say dime and say divine three times in a row. What was my brain thinking?

I would love to hear your experiments with both the humor and the gratitude journals.

Enjoy

          One of the things I like best about the internet is that it helps people feel less alone. During the end of the year holidays, the people who feel alone feel it more deeply typically. This is when blogs, and other interactive internet devices can really help make people feel more connected. It is also a time when you can make a point to reach out to people you know who might be feeling alone, adrift, sad.

          If you are someone who has enough people and connections in your life, the end of the year is a great time to start a gratitude journal. I heard of this idea many years ago from Oprah but I don’t know if she is who originated it. It is basically every day, you take a few minutes and a few lines if you are writing in your journal to record what you are grateful for. It might be big; I am grateful I have my eyesight. It might be small; I am grateful that I can eat chocolate from time to time. When you start doing this on a daily basis, it changes you. You might start with a list of five things

          I am grateful that I have my eyesight.

          I am grateful that I can sleep late tomorrow morning.

          I am grateful that I have people in my life who make me laugh.

          I am grateful that I have a job.

          I am grateful that I am able to help people through my job.

          When you start looking at them, some of the ones that seem small at first then take on a weight that you might not initially appreciate.  Some of the big ones are big and it is good to take the time to appreciate what we have and how we feel about our good fortunes.

          If you are in a place where there does not seem to be much to be thankful for, think small. I am grateful to be able to write that I hate my job, I am grateful that I don’t have to interact too much with my neighbor, I am grateful that I don’t have to tell  my daughter that I hate her boyfriend and think he’s a jerk, I am grateful that I don’t have to smell my aunt’s perfume all the time, I just have to smell it next Thursday when I see her.

          I am grateful to have this  message to write to you. I will be grateful if you write back and let me know what you’re working on.       Thanks.