One of the trials of my moving to California from Massachusetts that I didn’t envision and that no one warned me about was the loss of humor for a while. If you move to a place where you know no one, then you cannot joke. It is as simple and ugly as that.

If I were to attend a comedy club in Iceland where all the comics were Icelandic, I would undoubtedly miss all the really good jokes(This is even if the comics were speaking English which is the only language I understand- and why would a rocking club in Reykjavik have English speaking comics when the audience would be speaking Icelandic?). I don’t know any Icelandic history ( think all the George Washington, Abe Lincoln, George Bush jokes you’ve heard), I’m not proud of this. I know nothing about Icelandic eating habits, (think all the American fusion diet jokes, the as American as Apple Pie jokes). I know no Icelandic authors (even though I hear that they have some good mystery authors( Arnaldur Indriðason -Reykjavik Murder Mysteries 1. Jar City (2004) aka Tainted Blood 2. Silence of the Grave (2005) 3. Voices (2006) 4. The Draining Lake (2007) 5. Arctic Chill (2008) 6. Hypothermia (2009) and Yrsa Sigurðardóttir Last Rituals ( 2005) and My Soul to Take: A Novel of Iceland(2007)).

Think of some stupid joke; a duck walks into a bar. The bartender hands him a drink ( the newest Pomegranate margarita or mojito) and says; “That’s $25.97. How do you want to pay for that? The duck says; “same as always put it on my bill.”

Ok to understand that award winning joke, you have to know some cultural context. You need to know what a duck is, why it is unusual for a duck to walk into a bar, what a bar is, who the bartender is ( and all the bartender jokes) and then you have to understand why the punch line has a double meaning.

Ok, back to me coming to California. All the attempts at humor were in English. But I didn’t know any Californian geography( or distances between towns or cities), history, notables(Herb Caen, the twins), reputations(Why would anyone voluntarily go to Fresno?), institutions( Thrifty Jr., Albertsons, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Candlestick, the maze, Telegraph, the Haight, Stern Grove, The Greek Theatre.

One kind of humor is repetitive. If I say something like Excusssse Meee (think Steve Martin in the 80s), if I say it repeatedly, in every conversation, eventually it might become funny. It might not, it might become tedious boring and really annoying. If I tell a weird story where something doesn’t make sense but the rest of the story is absolutely normal, that might be funny ( Think Monty Python re dead Parrot or the Council of the Funny Walk). If I tell a story and something truly unexpected happens that might be funny. There are lots of different kinds of humor but a lot of it depends of some shared assumptions. If you are new to a place, a culture, a group of people, you have to be careful of your assumptions and many times you should not assume that others share them.

In the early days here in California, I was struck again and again by saying things I thought were perfectly normal and having people stare at me and say after a polite pause, “What?” Clearly what I had said to them had not been understood as I meant it, let alone as a humorous remark. I would then retreat and answer politely, and go another day without exchanging any humor with anyone. It was fascinating to watch when I would risk another humorous try. I always considered it a mark of true friendship when I knew someone well enough not to have to think before joking. I also found there were definitely times when I would be taken aback when someone would actually joke with me out of the blue. Be it at the grocery store, or in line at the bank (when one still stood in line at the bank).

I have lived in other parts of the world where language divided me from people and the ability to joke, but this move was the first time I was aware of being denied humor simply because I did not know people well enough to joke with them.

It was also a lesson for me in that I do not want to live long without some humorous interaction. I might have to but I always prefer a little humor…

I’m back. Thanks for all your great comments. I have to say that I thought SARK’s workshop was great. It is always amazing to see charisma, feel it, witness people feeling so positive towards a speaker. I saw it with Jan Wahl and now again with more interaction with SARK.

I heard about a Myers Brigg type system for people and their preferred form of exercise. It was called the 8 Colors of Fitness by Suzanne Brue.

Ok, what I thought was interesting about this, and how it ties in with SARK, is that we all have ways of being in the world. We all have gifts and deficits. Some of us are great spellers and some of us can’t spell worth a dime. I think it’s not whether you can spell or not, but rather, if you can’t spell, whether or not you have found a way around this skill you are missing. I think it is great to learn how to utilize our gifts and minimize our deficits.

SARK talked about micromovements. She said she had been a procrastinator. She said she has found a system that minimizes that deficit for her so that she can be as productive as she wants to be. She calls it micro movements.

I thought this was great. The Eight colors of Fitness is just a system that might help put you with like-wired people so you stand the best chance at staying with your desired fitness goals.

It doesn’t matter what skill or deficit of a skill we are discussing, I am convinced there is a coping mechanism. If you are not a good speller, there are now spell checks and mobile dictionaries that one can take with you everywhere.

If you are always late, you can set your pda to give you reminders, or an alarm to stay on track.

There is now  an awareness that most of us are not perfect in every regard and that it is unrealistic to think that we are. And, and this is very important, that just because we have some skills and not others, that if we want to, we can compensate for those skills that we do not now possess.

I think this is so much healthier than it was just a few years ago. Now there is an acceptance that we do not all learn in exactly the same manner. There is less shame about being dyslexic, or maybe dyscalculic. People have started to recognize that people are differently gifted.

What I find fascinating and exciting is the coping mechanisms that we discover for ourselves to cope with our deficits.

Sark mentioned this micromovement strategy worked very well for her. She starts a to do list where nothing on the list can take more than five minutes.

To Do :

1.) Go to the closet

2.) Open the closet door

3.) Pick three hangers

4.) Examine the clothing on hanger 1

5.) Make the decision whether to donate it  to Good will, sell it at the consignment store, or keep it.

6.) Rehang it in the closet, put it in a bag labelled consignment store, or Goodwill.

7.) Examine the clothing on hanger 2

8.) Make the decision whether to donate it  to Good will, sell it at the consignment store, or keep it.

9.) Rehang it in the closet, put it in a bag labelled consignment store, or Goodwill.

10.) Examine the clothing on Hanger 3

11.) Make the decision whether to donate it  to Goodwill, sell it at the consignment store, or keep it.

12.) Rehang it in the closet, put it in a bag labelled consignment store, or Goodwill.

13.) Close the closet door and walk away smiling.

That’s a more approachable list than

CLEAN OUT CLOSET!

I would be interested in each of your tricks, let’s share what works with us for getting things done, coping with skill levels and see if we can all win.

This morning I was out by 6:00am. It was wonderful. The sky was blue, the streets were quiet of cars. The runners were few and unobstructive. The flowers were beautiful. I walk in a cemetery for part of my walk. It is always so manicured, landscaped, the tulips are gone but the rhododendrons were still strongly in bloom. All in all it was so pleasant.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was reading Julia Cameron about writing and she said to walk every day. She says that it is essential for making the mind relax enough to come up with fresh solutions to problems, to percolate thoughts and of course it’s good for your body.

I agree with all that. Medical people would say, walk because it’s a good moderate exercise that will help women over fifty with their bone density issues. It’s good for your posture, your joints, muscles, skin, digestion, everything.

I think it’s also good for your knowledge of where you live. I love to see what’s going on. Did that house finish it’s remodel? Did that rose bush that was cut way back, come back? Oh it did, it looks beautiful. What is that bush? Oh look at the wild turkeys- who would guess you’d see them in a city. It connects you with your surroundings in a way that driving simply can’t. It makes you more aware. It makes you see beauty in the simply everyday things that are around you.

I think it makes living in the city a balance. If you walk everyday, you get your dose of nature, of birds, of flowers, of animals, of people or if you’re going early in the morning of the wonderful city solitude. Then you go inside and do whatever work you do. It’s a balance of the exterior - interior. The noise and the quiet. The multitude - the solitude.

I also think it can make you more aware of issues. You see the empty store fronts, you see new stores come in. There you have the financial crisis and the infinitude of human imagination and the will to try, the will to go out on one’s own and start something new.

Walk around, tell me what you find.

Focus is an amazing thing. Last week I started focusing on writing a bit every day, writing down everything I ate and already within a week, I have noticed changes! I got a book out of the library(yeah Library!) called The Writing Diet by Julia Cameron. I haven’t finished reading it yet but I like it so far.

Chapter one says; write. Write every day and do it for thirty minutes. In this writing, which she titles “the Morning Pages” you can vent, gripe, whine, complain, fantasize or scheme. Just write every day.

Chapter two says; write down everything you eat and look at when you have snack attacks, or when you feel hung over because of the food you are eating. She is telling you to focus on what you are eating, when you are eating it and what effect the food has on your mood and your day.

Chapter three says walk every day. She says that it should be at least twenty minutes. Cameron basically says that many of life’s solutions will come to you if you slow down walk and listen. Ok. That’s as far into the book as I have gotten so far. I have done just those three things and already I feel better about writing, eating and it’s been less than a week. Now who knows what she will go on to say and whether I’ll agree with her or not, but so far I am glad I chose to do what she suggested. I  focused and prioritized –  two key things.

It’s funny. So many of us need some kind of outside (of ourselves) motivator to get us started and directed to make a change in our lives. We go to seminars, attend workshops and then change. At least for a while. I did read Julia Cameron’s famous work; The Artist’s Way years ago(1996). I did it faithfully( or as I remember it now). I did write, go on adventures and try new experiences. I remember liking it. I remember getting a lot done. I don’t remember giving her all the credit but I do remember liking the results.

I continued doing those morning pages, and the adventures for many years. Life sometimes changes and we alter our schedules to accommodate the changes. I dropped the daily writing. That’s life sometimes.  I never stopped walking. I am not suggesting that anyone go out and buy her books, but I am saying - focus on what you want to do. Think about a system that works for you to accomplish your goals. Prioritize what you want to do and do it.

Set achievable goals. I am going to do this system for a week(7 days that’s it).Then in a week set a new achievable goal based on your personal results.

For seven days I am going to write down everything I eat and see if this makes a difference in my decisions to eat that second helping of whatever.

Knowing that you are going to be recording that sugary glass of iced tea makes it less attractive. Knowing that you’re going to be recording how you feel after the sugar takes effect makes you remember the frenetic energy high and then the drop into sugar blues. It’s all focus.

The Buddhists say to be mindful, Others say Pay Attention! This week I’ll say observe, contemplate, think about what you want to do and do it. Make the changes in your life to accomplish it. Don’t wait for the right time. Don’t wait for the perfect looking journal if you want to write down your thoughts, just write them on the paper you have around, you can always transcribe them later.

Don’t wait for the perfect running outfit to start a new exercise regime, walk or run in what feels comfortable and know that it is the doing that is important not how you look to others.

Remember one of the things you don’t have to wait to do is write me and tell me your plans, your progress, your thoughts.

Good luck and now go out and start.

Trudy

These are the answers to the Trivia Quiz. All of the questions and answers are from Brainiac; Adventures in the Curious, Competitive,Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs. By Ken Jennings NY: Villard 2006

Question on P.70 answer on P.85

1.) What is the difference between a lama with one L and a llama with 2 Ls?

A one-L lama is a Tibetan Monk.

A two-L llama is a pack animal of the Andes.

2.) Who was ‘Lemonade Lucy?’Question on P.72 Answer on P.85

Lemonade Lucy was Lucy Hayes, Rutherford B Hayes first lady, so called for her teetotalling ways.

3.) Who designed the White House? ’Question on P.72 Answer on P.85

Irish architect James Hoban designed the White House.

4.) What are the names of the Seven dwarves: ’Question on P.76 Answer on P.85

Sleepy, Sneezy, Dopey, Happy, Grumpy, Doc, and Bashful.

5.) Where is the Taj Mahal? ’Question on P.77 Answer on P.85

The Taj Mahal is located in Agra India

6.) What was the 1955 Best Picture Oscar winner? ’Question on P.77 Answer on P.85

Marty won the 1955 Best Picture Oscar

7.) What was the only thing left in Pandora’s box after she opened it? ’Question on P.82 Answer on P.85

The only thing that remained was HOPE.

8.) What was Lady Bird Johnson’s real first name? ’Question on P.83 Answer on P.85

Claudia was Lady Bird Johnsonn’s real first name.

9.) Coney Island is located at the southern tip of which New York City Borough? ’Question on P.83 Answer on P.85

Coney Island is in Brooklyn.

10.) Which three states are adjacent states whose names start with the same letter’ Question on P.93 Answer on P.102

Indiana, Illinois, Iowa are three adjacent states who share their first letter.

11.) Who composed the theme to the TV quiz show Jeopardy!? Question on P.99 Answer on P.102

Merv Griffin himself composed the theme song to Jeopardy!

I’m using some of the Hayward Public Library’s resources, this week’s quiz is from one of the books on our shelves; Brainiac; Adventures in the Curious, Competitive,Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs.
By Ken Jennings NY: Villard 2006
1. What is the difference between a lama with one L and a llama with 2 Ls?
2.) Who was ‘Lemonade Lucy’?
3.) Who designed the White House?

4.) What are the names of the Seven dwarves?

5.) Where is the Taj Mahal?

6.) What was the 1955 Best Picture Oscar winner?
7.) What was the only thing left in Pandora’s box after she opened it?
8.) What was Lady Bird Johnson’s real first name?

9.) Coney Island is located at the southern tip of which New York City Borough?

10.) Which three states are adjacent states whose names start with the same letter’
11.) Who composed the theme to the TV quiz show Jeopardy!?

Enjoy the questions, give me the answers and enjoy using your mind…

Trudy

The answers to last week’s quiz are;
Wyoming, Vermont, Utah, Texas, New York, Maine, Iowa, Idaho and Florida. Thanks for playing. Trudy

I thank everyone who wrote in and guessed.
I want to thank Gary D who wrote in and suggested a site on online brain games. I notice many of these books on brain fitness mention memory. I think memory is a fascinating subject.
We have the whispy memories from when we were children, maybe when we visited a grandparent’s house. We have the foundational memories from when we were in high school when we tried something for the first time(maybe we took public transportation to another town to check out a new bookstore or ice cream parlor) or when we first were recognized for something(sports, performance, artistic, beauty, humor) or when we first experienced death among our inner circle.
We have all had the experiences of forgetting small unimportant things, and also the experience of forgetting something big and vitally important.
We use memories in writing, in painting, there is something so poignant in the use of memory when it’s used for art. Something so visceral comes from our remembering and telling, or even reading something and remembering through the act of reading.
Then there’s the other kind of memory; the memory for trivia games or brain teasers. Speaking of which — here is this week’s new brain teaser. Good luck and I hope you enjoy it.

Name the nine state’s names (of the United States of America) that consist of letters that appear only once in their spelling. This appeared in the book
So You Think You’re so Smart: 150 Fun and Challenging Brain teasers by Pat Battaglia, published by International Puzzle Features in 2002. P.2
Trudy

Ok, it took me forever and I even had co-workers groaning that I could not see it, but I did not think gender bias. The relationship is sister. Thank you Laurie for posting that stumper. It just goes to show us, doesn’t it. We only think one way.
Another teaser will go up in the next day or so so stay tuned.
Trudy

Here’s the solution for the brain exercise posted last week: