Lists about what we love about Hayward, California

1) All the people of Hayward- Together we make this city great.

2) Library – The Hayward Public Library is somewhere where every one can go regardless of age, reading ability or physical ability. You don’t need money to go there or to borrow materials. It has lots of materials to lend and loads of free programs to attend.

3) The Farmer’s Market, gives us access to wonderful fresh low cost produce to keep us all healthy and happy.

4) The schools, community college, university and others places of learning in Hayward give us opportunity for learning and learning and education are always good.

5) The parks where we can have a bit of nature without leaving our neighborhoods.

6) City Hall is new and beautiful, it gives you civil pride.

7) Downtown Hayward. It has loads of restaurants, movie theatre and shops. Right now when some of the shops are not rented ,there is beautiful art in the windows.

8 ) Hayward Arts Council. It produces great art that is often shown for free in Hayward.

9) Sun Gallery, shows Hayward residents all different kinds of art.

10) Japanese Garden, this offers calm, beauty that reflects centuries of traditions

11) Senior centers, they offer so many chances at friendship, companionship and fun learning.

12) Churches and Houses of Worship and spitiruality give us some peace in this chaotic world.

13) Shopping at the various shops and malls around town, gives us shopping therapy.

14) Restaurants that reflect the cultural and ethnic diversity of this city.

15) All the festivals thrown all over Hayward during any given year or season.

16) All the volunteer efforts that fuel great non-profits. This is a win-win situation, it helps the non- profit and it gives to the volunteer as well. Contact Volunteer Hayward or the Library to learn more about volunteering.

17) The Historic houses in Hayward that can help show us our history and other people’s history.

18) The weather that is so good for growing things, letting people walk and enjoy the outdoors and that keeps us content.

19) All the trees and flowers that grow in people’s gardens, wild spaces and all the kinds of in between places but that we get to see and enjoy.

20) The businesses that contribute to the city by supporting the children, the non-profits and the people.

I’ve been learning a lot recently. It’s funny. As an adult, you learn so differently than you did as a child. It’s easier in some ways and it is so much harder in others.

I find that because it is conscious, it is easier. I know what I am learning and I know why I am learning it. If it is for work, it is clearly defined and usually time specific. I need to learn this software program in order to do X by the fifteen of next month. It is a task. it is usually quite contained. I have something I need to do and the software is the way to do it and I need to learn the software in order to get this task done.

When it is for personal use, it is often less defined, less time specific and less clear what, if  anything, is going to be accomplished - but it is still conscious.

I am the one making the decision. People forget that they always have a choice about learning. No one is going to make you learn something. It just usually is that people do not want to live with the consequences of not learning whatever it is that they “need” to learn( at work or in a new relationship).

We rarely chart our process as we learn something new. We just see it in terms of whether we can do what we need to do. Can I send an email with a photograph enbedded in it? (or whatever job we set ourselves to learn). We might learn things that we can’t use today or tomorrow but might need in the future.  It is often an uncomfortable time when we are so acutely aware of what we do not know. It’s something that happens in school so much that we are constantly told what we do not know but in adult life, we can often avoid focusing on what we do not know and stay with what we do know. I am sure we all know people who at a dinner or other social setting just talk about what they know even if no one else shares that knowledge or enjoyment of that topic.

” Let me tell you about the aging process of the Blue Lascar Butterfly of the Burmese Highlands.” This might be right after someone mentioned a new movie called ” The Blood Pool of Knightsend”.

It’s sometimes makes me feel sad when I witness this because the person feels so out of place, they can’t even stay quiet and wait until the conversation comes back to something they do know about and can share in the conversation about.

I am reading a book about adults learning a new language as adults( Dreaming in Hindi by Katherine Russell Rich). The author says how hard it is and then offers studies that back her up on many fronts. Language is one set of skills but anything we learn as adults has a progression.

We talk about the learning curve but when you are actually in a learning situation, it is tough to see that it will all become more clear and that before too long we will be more knowledgeable than we were before.

I say, keep learning, it keeps the brain well oiled. We don’t all need to learn a new language or musical instrument but keep learning. Deal with feeling uncomfortable for the time in between when we do not know anything and when we start to know a little. Rejoice. You are uncomfortable but you are doing a great thing. Keep learning, encourage others to learn as well. It will help us all if we all keep learning.

One of the trials of my moving to California from Massachusetts that I didn’t envision and that no one warned me about was the loss of humor for a while. If you move to a place where you know no one, then you cannot joke. It is as simple and ugly as that.

If I were to attend a comedy club in Iceland where all the comics were Icelandic, I would undoubtedly miss all the really good jokes(This is even if the comics were speaking English which is the only language I understand- and why would a rocking club in Reykjavik have English speaking comics when the audience would be speaking Icelandic?). I don’t know any Icelandic history ( think all the George Washington, Abe Lincoln, George Bush jokes you’ve heard), I’m not proud of this. I know nothing about Icelandic eating habits, (think all the American fusion diet jokes, the as American as Apple Pie jokes). I know no Icelandic authors (even though I hear that they have some good mystery authors( Arnaldur Indriðason -Reykjavik Murder Mysteries 1. Jar City (2004) aka Tainted Blood 2. Silence of the Grave (2005) 3. Voices (2006) 4. The Draining Lake (2007) 5. Arctic Chill (2008) 6. Hypothermia (2009) and Yrsa Sigurðardóttir Last Rituals ( 2005) and My Soul to Take: A Novel of Iceland(2007)).

Think of some stupid joke; a duck walks into a bar. The bartender hands him a drink ( the newest Pomegranate margarita or mojito) and says; “That’s $25.97. How do you want to pay for that? The duck says; “same as always put it on my bill.”

Ok to understand that award winning joke, you have to know some cultural context. You need to know what a duck is, why it is unusual for a duck to walk into a bar, what a bar is, who the bartender is ( and all the bartender jokes) and then you have to understand why the punch line has a double meaning.

Ok, back to me coming to California. All the attempts at humor were in English. But I didn’t know any Californian geography( or distances between towns or cities), history, notables(Herb Caen, the twins), reputations(Why would anyone voluntarily go to Fresno?), institutions( Thrifty Jr., Albertsons, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Candlestick, the maze, Telegraph, the Haight, Stern Grove, The Greek Theatre.

One kind of humor is repetitive. If I say something like Excusssse Meee (think Steve Martin in the 80s), if I say it repeatedly, in every conversation, eventually it might become funny. It might not, it might become tedious boring and really annoying. If I tell a weird story where something doesn’t make sense but the rest of the story is absolutely normal, that might be funny ( Think Monty Python re dead Parrot or the Council of the Funny Walk). If I tell a story and something truly unexpected happens that might be funny. There are lots of different kinds of humor but a lot of it depends of some shared assumptions. If you are new to a place, a culture, a group of people, you have to be careful of your assumptions and many times you should not assume that others share them.

In the early days here in California, I was struck again and again by saying things I thought were perfectly normal and having people stare at me and say after a polite pause, “What?” Clearly what I had said to them had not been understood as I meant it, let alone as a humorous remark. I would then retreat and answer politely, and go another day without exchanging any humor with anyone. It was fascinating to watch when I would risk another humorous try. I always considered it a mark of true friendship when I knew someone well enough not to have to think before joking. I also found there were definitely times when I would be taken aback when someone would actually joke with me out of the blue. Be it at the grocery store, or in line at the bank (when one still stood in line at the bank).

I have lived in other parts of the world where language divided me from people and the ability to joke, but this move was the first time I was aware of being denied humor simply because I did not know people well enough to joke with them.

It was also a lesson for me in that I do not want to live long without some humorous interaction. I might have to but I always prefer a little humor…

I talk with Librarians at other libraries so I won’t mention what library this story comes from but it was in the bay area. A man came in and asked for the book the Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. The Librarian involved showed the man where the book was on the shelf. When the librarian turned to go, the man asked,” Is it realistic not to get angry?”

The Librarian was taken aback.  She said, ” Probably everybody but the Dalai Lama gets angry.” The man looked puzzled, maybe he didn’t know who the Dalai Lama is or maybe didn’t expect a Buddhist to be brought into the conversation.

“I did some work for a lady. I was supposed to get paid. I went to collect my check but she said my boss had collected the check.” He paused.” I try to live a good ethical Christian life.” He paused again and looked down at the Librarian. “What should I do? I had already asked my boss and he had said he’d never collected any money from her.”

The Librarian was stuck. How can one answer? She told me that she showed him the books on the shelf, which were all sorts of self help, both Christian and non-denominational. She told him, “9 out of ten people would feel angry about being lied to and cheated. Being angry was a normal reaction but we always have a choice how as to how we react.” She said she went on about one of the good things about a Public Library is you can go inside and see how many different ways there are to be in the world. You can learn how to react to events in ones life a new way, a nonviolent way, or how to negotiate with ones boss to get the money you are owed.

The Librarian said the man walked away with his book then turned around and went back to the shelf to look at some of the other books. Who knows how his story turned out but this story struck me as another example of how valuable the Public Library is in the lives of so many of us.

The wisdom of the ages and continents contained within four walls and an internet access.

I recently read a great piece by Monique le Conge who is Director of the Richmond, CA Public Library system. She wrote an article entitled 7 Ways Your Public Library Can Help You During Tough Economic Times.
I liked her ideas so much I wanted to customize it; 25 Ways The Hayward Public Library Will Help You Survive Tough Times. Here are my ideas:
1.)    We’re here for you and we lend our materials free of charge. How great is that?! It’s free to get a Hayward Public Library card. It’s the MASTER key that opens every door. The doors of opportunity, of education, of relaxation, of family togetherness, of possibility, and self discovery all can be opened with a free Hayward Public Library card.




2.)    We have public access computers with internet access to help you look for jobs, submit job applications, file your resume on various list servs and receive emails concerning jobs and interviews.




3.)    Those same computers can help you write your resume and we have printers that can print out your resume if you are submitting it in person somewhere.


4.)    Those same computers can also be used to keep in touch with friends and family during these times when we need all the emotional support we can get.

5.)    We loan DVDs and videos to both provide instruction to help you learn something new ( like cooking or Taibo) as well as simple entertainment when you are relaxing.



6.)    We loan audio books and cassettes to help with the commute when you live far away from your job and have quite a commute. The audio books are fiction, nonfiction and language instruction. That means you can enjoy a good mystery while driving, learn Russian or learn Donald trump’s secrets of salesmanship. Put that commute time to good use.


7.)    We also loan downloadable audio books and Ebooks( think free Kindle).Explore these possibilities either during your commute or when doing chores, increase the time you can learn or enjoy books. Someone reads them aloud and you download them to your computer, MP3 player or other device.




8.)    We loan Books. These come in all shapes and sizes, fiction, non-fiction, in various languages and for children, teens and adults. Books can teach us how to write a resume, how to conduct a job interview, how to write a cover letter and which jobs are going to pay us what we need to make. Books can also take us away from the everyday reality by transporting us to another time, another place, even another galaxy. They can make us see the world differently, they can help us to understand the world in which we live and they can help us to change ourselves.



9.)    We have book groups where you can join a community of readers and explore mystery books, literary books, autobiographies, or books from around the globe. These groups can provide a forum for discussions and can also provide a loose structure to explore a subject like autobiography. The group means you don’t have to do all the work yourself. It is not like a college class but it has the rewards without the papers, the exams and the professor. It can provide companionship, intellectual interaction and some great reading.




10.)    We provide computer classes to get you started in the complex world of computers.




11.)    We offer English Conversation groups as a means where people learning English as a Second Language can come together and practice speaking English.




12.)    We also offer a wide range of one time programs ranging from an evening learning about Arabic Calligraphy to Japanese Brush Painting. We offer music  from local musicians, local authors come to talk about their work, we provide programs detailing how to avoid Termites, Fall prevention, craft programs as well as how to improve your writing.



13.)     We offer yoga workshops every month to give you an opportunity to come and learn to relax, to breathe and even to laugh.


14.)    We encourage and teach  literacy as the most fundamental skill that will keep us employed, employable and enjoying life.  We provide this valuable life skill in both English and in Spanish.


15.)    We offer an extensive range of programs for children, starting the day they are born.


16.)    We offer programs for children and their parents together.


17.)    We offer programs for teenagers. Some of these programs are just fun( like crafts), some are  computer games and some of them are actually learning skills and growing as a person- such as a recent photography project that culminated in a city wide gallery showing of their photographs.


18.)    We offer library services for shut-ins and seniors who can no longer get into the library. We bring the library materials out to them.


19.)    We offer a repository for living Hayward local History. We are continuing for a third year to collect video stories of Hayward residents telling of their lives in California and specifically Hayward. Come in and tell us your story. We want to save it for the generations of the present and the future.


20.)    We answer questions. If you need to know how to get to that interview in Oakland but don’t know the way, you can ask us and we can print out a map or show you on your map how best to get there. We can tell you what year Benjamin Franklin was in France if you want to find that out. We can tell you who is offering classes in Excel in the Hayward area if you want to improve your skills. We can give you the telephone number for East Bay Works. We can find the poem that starts; It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. We can answer where to find Health or Medical issue answers(see recent entry in this blog).


21.)    We are going to be here. We have the daily papers, come in and read them. We have magazines you can follow international politics, design from Martha Stewart, Oprah’s monthly interest, magazines explaining men’s health issue. Come in, relax and read them without having to subscribe.


22.)    We loan music cds. Come in and see what relaxing or stimulating music we have from around the country and across the globe.


23.)     We offer free legal help, two to three times a month, we have a lawyer into the lawyer to answer library patron questions. The sessions are brief, just fifteen minutes but they are free, confidential and will help start the solution to the problem bothering you.


24.)    We offer many of these services in Spanish, Chinese, Farsi, Vietnamese and Hindi.


25.)    We have online services such as an online catalog, events blog, Refresh Your Life Blog, reference books, database offerings,  the ability to put  books on hold that  you are looking for, notification of the status of your books, online payment of fines, and many many other online resources.

Taking a line from long ago and far away and changing it a bit…;

Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries.

(I think this was an R.Crumb line; Drugs will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no drugs. I like mine better- no offense RC)

‘image: www.freeimages.co.uk’

When I hear people talk about public libraries, many people think of old fashioned public libraries. We at Hayward have really changed into one of the new wave of public libraries. We do many things that help people when and where they need that help. We are always interested in hearing from people who have suggestions of how we can use our tools to reach more people. Do any of you have any suggestions? Would people like tweets from the library? If you answer yes, what kind of information would you want to receive? Someone suggested that appropriate tweets would be only when our plans changed; such as if the scheduled “Lawyer in the Library” program was cancelled for one day but was rescheduled for another. Are there other suggestions?

This is dealing with change part 3. Wednesday, we reviewed some of the kinds of changes we all experience. Thursday, we reviewed some of the changes that we have experienced that we like. Today we’re going on to discuss how best to face change be it unexpected, self motivated or something else.

It is important to remember how we benefit from changes; large and small so that we are open to accepting and embracing more change. I found a quote that speaks to this beautifully:
“Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past. It loses the future.” Kathleen Norris, O Magazine, January 2004. I found it in Katherine Gould’s PVLD Director’s Blog.

As we age we change. As we learn we change. As we think or read we change.  As our friends and family grow and change, we change. I think one of the keys to enjoying change more is to remember that many of our negative reactions to perceived change are based on fear of the unknown or others fear of the unknown. If we remember that in the past we have experienced change and benefited from it, it makes it easier to risk changing (and sitting with our fears – meaning waiting and seeing before condemning the change whatever it is that is changing as bad or negative).

We talk about adapting to change. As we age there are times in our lives when change seems to be overwhelming. I think we have to try and befriend it, keep in mind all the things that have changed for the better and keep an eye on the big picture. We need to anchor ourselves in our own lives; then look outside to see the changes for what they are. (Now of course that assumes that we can anchor ourselves, that the change is not happening to our true selves and I realize that is not always true ( in the case of catastrophic illness, impairment, or personal loss). For that sometimes we need a therapist or someone else who can help with the anchoring.)

There are so many different kinds of change that we should examine what it is that is changing and whether it is about our work life, or our personal life, our financial life, or some other aspect of our lives.

Talk with your trusted friends, family and co-workers about what is changing, why it is changing, whether it is something you have initiated or whether it was not your choice to change this aspect. Allow for the possibility that this change will improve your life and the lives around you. We are a species that has strived because we have changed, we have evolved, we have made changes in our lives.

When we talk to our friends and co-workers, sometimes we will find others who have gone through this same change or similar ones and we can benefit from their experiences. We can also get support from our friends, they can help anchor us to our true selves as we go through changes. We can also sometimes hear from others an irrational fear of change and that can impact us as to what we don’t want to be.

Try and see what positives there are in the change. If your hours change at work, this might mean that you can take a longer exercise walk in the morning before work, or you can join friends at a movie after work. You might be learning valuable new skills at work with the change that might make you more marketable if you want to change jobs. Try to remember that in almost all situations, there is a positive if you look for it. Even if it is hard to accept at the beginning while you are in the midst of the change and the confusion that sometimes accompanies that.

As I observe people older than I, one of the traits that I admire most is the ability to adapt, the hunger to learn, the ability to enjoy life even when some of the changes that have been experienced are negative ones. There are many proverbs concerning change. Read them and send me some quotes that have strengthened you as you experienced change.

“If life gives you a lemon, make a lemonade” goes a wise old adage.

“When one door closes, another door opens; but if we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which open for us.” –  Alexander Graham Bell

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better. – King Whitney Jr.

Usually when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change. — Malcolm X , Malcolm X Speaks, 1965

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered. — Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom

Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me. — Carol Burnett

Change is with us whether we like it or not, think positive thoughts, remember the good changes we’ve been through and the changes will go a little smoother, or so I hope.
Do write me what changes you’ve been through, some of your strategies and revel in our abilities to adapt, evolve and grow.

Focus is an amazing thing. Last week I started focusing on writing a bit every day, writing down everything I ate and already within a week, I have noticed changes! I got a book out of the library(yeah Library!) called The Writing Diet by Julia Cameron. I haven’t finished reading it yet but I like it so far.

Chapter one says; write. Write every day and do it for thirty minutes. In this writing, which she titles “the Morning Pages” you can vent, gripe, whine, complain, fantasize or scheme. Just write every day.

Chapter two says; write down everything you eat and look at when you have snack attacks, or when you feel hung over because of the food you are eating. She is telling you to focus on what you are eating, when you are eating it and what effect the food has on your mood and your day.

Chapter three says walk every day. She says that it should be at least twenty minutes. Cameron basically says that many of life’s solutions will come to you if you slow down walk and listen. Ok. That’s as far into the book as I have gotten so far. I have done just those three things and already I feel better about writing, eating and it’s been less than a week. Now who knows what she will go on to say and whether I’ll agree with her or not, but so far I am glad I chose to do what she suggested. I  focused and prioritized –  two key things.

It’s funny. So many of us need some kind of outside (of ourselves) motivator to get us started and directed to make a change in our lives. We go to seminars, attend workshops and then change. At least for a while. I did read Julia Cameron’s famous work; The Artist’s Way years ago(1996). I did it faithfully( or as I remember it now). I did write, go on adventures and try new experiences. I remember liking it. I remember getting a lot done. I don’t remember giving her all the credit but I do remember liking the results.

I continued doing those morning pages, and the adventures for many years. Life sometimes changes and we alter our schedules to accommodate the changes. I dropped the daily writing. That’s life sometimes.  I never stopped walking. I am not suggesting that anyone go out and buy her books, but I am saying - focus on what you want to do. Think about a system that works for you to accomplish your goals. Prioritize what you want to do and do it.

Set achievable goals. I am going to do this system for a week(7 days that’s it).Then in a week set a new achievable goal based on your personal results.

For seven days I am going to write down everything I eat and see if this makes a difference in my decisions to eat that second helping of whatever.

Knowing that you are going to be recording that sugary glass of iced tea makes it less attractive. Knowing that you’re going to be recording how you feel after the sugar takes effect makes you remember the frenetic energy high and then the drop into sugar blues. It’s all focus.

The Buddhists say to be mindful, Others say Pay Attention! This week I’ll say observe, contemplate, think about what you want to do and do it. Make the changes in your life to accomplish it. Don’t wait for the right time. Don’t wait for the perfect looking journal if you want to write down your thoughts, just write them on the paper you have around, you can always transcribe them later.

Don’t wait for the perfect running outfit to start a new exercise regime, walk or run in what feels comfortable and know that it is the doing that is important not how you look to others.

Remember one of the things you don’t have to wait to do is write me and tell me your plans, your progress, your thoughts.

Good luck and now go out and start.

Trudy

I’m using some of the Hayward Public Library’s resources, this week’s quiz is from one of the books on our shelves; Brainiac; Adventures in the Curious, Competitive,Compulsive World of Trivia Buffs.
By Ken Jennings NY: Villard 2006
1. What is the difference between a lama with one L and a llama with 2 Ls?
2.) Who was ‘Lemonade Lucy’?
3.) Who designed the White House?

4.) What are the names of the Seven dwarves?

5.) Where is the Taj Mahal?

6.) What was the 1955 Best Picture Oscar winner?
7.) What was the only thing left in Pandora’s box after she opened it?
8.) What was Lady Bird Johnson’s real first name?

9.) Coney Island is located at the southern tip of which New York City Borough?

10.) Which three states are adjacent states whose names start with the same letter’
11.) Who composed the theme to the TV quiz show Jeopardy!?

Enjoy the questions, give me the answers and enjoy using your mind…

Trudy

Since writing the article for the Refresh Your Life April newsletter on how stress affects men and women differently, I have found all these other studies about how stress affects us. I have found one that says we drink alcohol for different reasons, one that says we deal with our relationships differently. I think this is good that we are finally recognizing scientifically that men and women are different. This means that what is good for one is not necessarily good for the other and vice versa. We need to be aware that we each need to figure out what works for us, and find our own way. It would be easier if one solution fit everyone but I do not know of a case where that is ever true. I can’t even say everyone loves chocolate. It’s not for everyone’s taste. Nothing is. Besides curling up with your cat, have you found some good ways to reduce stress?
Of course, I would suggest reading but I know that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, either.

Trudy