One of the trials of my moving to California from Massachusetts that I didn’t envision and that no one warned me about was the loss of humor for a while. If you move to a place where you know no one, then you cannot joke. It is as simple and ugly as that.
If I were to attend a comedy club in Iceland where all the comics were Icelandic, I would undoubtedly miss all the really good jokes(This is even if the comics were speaking English which is the only language I understand- and why would a rocking club in Reykjavik have English speaking comics when the audience would be speaking Icelandic?). I don’t know any Icelandic history ( think all the George Washington, Abe Lincoln, George Bush jokes you’ve heard), I’m not proud of this. I know nothing about Icelandic eating habits, (think all the American fusion diet jokes, the as American as Apple Pie jokes). I know no Icelandic authors (even though I hear that they have some good mystery authors( Arnaldur Indriðason -Reykjavik Murder Mysteries 1. Jar City (2004) aka Tainted Blood 2. Silence of the Grave (2005) 3. Voices (2006) 4. The Draining Lake (2007) 5. Arctic Chill (2008) 6. Hypothermia (2009) and Yrsa Sigurðardóttir Last Rituals ( 2005) and My Soul to Take: A Novel of Iceland(2007)).
Think of some stupid joke; a duck walks into a bar. The bartender hands him a drink ( the newest Pomegranate margarita or mojito) and says; “That’s $25.97. How do you want to pay for that? The duck says; “same as always put it on my bill.”
Ok to understand that award winning joke, you have to know some cultural context. You need to know what a duck is, why it is unusual for a duck to walk into a bar, what a bar is, who the bartender is ( and all the bartender jokes) and then you have to understand why the punch line has a double meaning.
Ok, back to me coming to California. All the attempts at humor were in English. But I didn’t know any Californian geography( or distances between towns or cities), history, notables(Herb Caen, the twins), reputations(Why would anyone voluntarily go to Fresno?), institutions( Thrifty Jr., Albertsons, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Candlestick, the maze, Telegraph, the Haight, Stern Grove, The Greek Theatre.
One kind of humor is repetitive. If I say something like Excusssse Meee (think Steve Martin in the 80s), if I say it repeatedly, in every conversation, eventually it might become funny. It might not, it might become tedious boring and really annoying. If I tell a weird story where something doesn’t make sense but the rest of the story is absolutely normal, that might be funny ( Think Monty Python re dead Parrot or the Council of the Funny Walk). If I tell a story and something truly unexpected happens that might be funny. There are lots of different kinds of humor but a lot of it depends of some shared assumptions. If you are new to a place, a culture, a group of people, you have to be careful of your assumptions and many times you should not assume that others share them.
In the early days here in California, I was struck again and again by saying things I thought were perfectly normal and having people stare at me and say after a polite pause, “What?” Clearly what I had said to them had not been understood as I meant it, let alone as a humorous remark. I would then retreat and answer politely, and go another day without exchanging any humor with anyone. It was fascinating to watch when I would risk another humorous try. I always considered it a mark of true friendship when I knew someone well enough not to have to think before joking. I also found there were definitely times when I would be taken aback when someone would actually joke with me out of the blue. Be it at the grocery store, or in line at the bank (when one still stood in line at the bank).
I have lived in other parts of the world where language divided me from people and the ability to joke, but this move was the first time I was aware of being denied humor simply because I did not know people well enough to joke with them.
It was also a lesson for me in that I do not want to live long without some humorous interaction. I might have to but I always prefer a little humor…

One of the things that many of us need help with these days is how to handle the complex situations in life that involve many agencies. For example, if we have an aging parent and are concerned about their future- we have legal questions, we have medical questions, we have questions about their psychological welfare, we have questions about how to rearrange their house if they are staying there, or where to move them to if they can’t stay in their house. The Hayward Public library is here to help you. We are having a program called CARING FOR OUR AGING PARENTS-Locally on Saturday October 10 from 1:00pm-3:00. Various social service agencies are coming to answer your questions. We are going to try to provide most of the answers you will need. Come and join us, as always, it is free. If you live in Alameda County you can call 211 for any social service question.
It’s the MASTER key that opens every door. The doors of opportunity, of education, of relaxation, of family togetherness, of possibility, and self discovery all can be opened with a free Hayward Public Library card.
2.) We have public access computers with internet access to help you look for jobs, submit job applications, file your resume on various list servs and receive emails concerning jobs and interviews.
3.) Those same computers can help you write your resume and we have printers that can print out your resume if you are submitting it in person somewhere.
and family during these times when we need all the emotional support we can get.
5.) We loan DVDs and videos to both provide instruction to help you learn something new ( like cooking or Taibo) as well as simple entertainment when you are relaxing.
8.) We loan Books. These come in all shapes and sizes, fiction, non-fiction, in various languages and for children, teens and adults. Books can teach us how to write a resume, how to conduct a job interview, how to write a cover letter and which jobs are going to pay us what we need to make. Books can also take us away from the everyday reality by transporting us to another time, another place, even another galaxy. They can make us see the world differently, they can help us to understand the world in which we live and they can help us to change ourselves.
10.) We provide computer classes to get you started in the complex world of computers.
23.) We offer free legal help, two to three times a month, we have a lawyer into the lawyer to answer library patron questions. The sessions are brief, just fifteen minutes but they are free, confidential and will help start the solution to the problem bothering you.










I need to say that the program with Jan Wahl last Saturday was a hoot! She talked about her early childhood growing up in Hollywood, she talked about wanting more smart movies, she talked about frustrations we all face. She was fabulous. She was straight forward, warm, fast paced without seeming rushed. She showed some fine clips of old movies that made you want to go out and rent them that very afternoon. When the clock struck she had to go and everyone moaned in sadness. Our two hours with her sped by faster than any spaceship in any movie. It’s rare I talk about the programs we have had here at the library but this one was really special. We will hope to have her back next year if we can raise the necessary funds. Watch some old movies and enjoy when intelligence was still a part of the movies.