One of the trials of my moving to California from Massachusetts that I didn’t envision and that no one warned me about was the loss of humor for a while. If you move to a place where you know no one, then you cannot joke. It is as simple and ugly as that.

If I were to attend a comedy club in Iceland where all the comics were Icelandic, I would undoubtedly miss all the really good jokes(This is even if the comics were speaking English which is the only language I understand- and why would a rocking club in Reykjavik have English speaking comics when the audience would be speaking Icelandic?). I don’t know any Icelandic history ( think all the George Washington, Abe Lincoln, George Bush jokes you’ve heard), I’m not proud of this. I know nothing about Icelandic eating habits, (think all the American fusion diet jokes, the as American as Apple Pie jokes). I know no Icelandic authors (even though I hear that they have some good mystery authors( Arnaldur Indriðason -Reykjavik Murder Mysteries 1. Jar City (2004) aka Tainted Blood 2. Silence of the Grave (2005) 3. Voices (2006) 4. The Draining Lake (2007) 5. Arctic Chill (2008) 6. Hypothermia (2009) and Yrsa Sigurðardóttir Last Rituals ( 2005) and My Soul to Take: A Novel of Iceland(2007)).

Think of some stupid joke; a duck walks into a bar. The bartender hands him a drink ( the newest Pomegranate margarita or mojito) and says; “That’s $25.97. How do you want to pay for that? The duck says; “same as always put it on my bill.”

Ok to understand that award winning joke, you have to know some cultural context. You need to know what a duck is, why it is unusual for a duck to walk into a bar, what a bar is, who the bartender is ( and all the bartender jokes) and then you have to understand why the punch line has a double meaning.

Ok, back to me coming to California. All the attempts at humor were in English. But I didn’t know any Californian geography( or distances between towns or cities), history, notables(Herb Caen, the twins), reputations(Why would anyone voluntarily go to Fresno?), institutions( Thrifty Jr., Albertsons, Wells Fargo, Bank of America, Candlestick, the maze, Telegraph, the Haight, Stern Grove, The Greek Theatre.

One kind of humor is repetitive. If I say something like Excusssse Meee (think Steve Martin in the 80s), if I say it repeatedly, in every conversation, eventually it might become funny. It might not, it might become tedious boring and really annoying. If I tell a weird story where something doesn’t make sense but the rest of the story is absolutely normal, that might be funny ( Think Monty Python re dead Parrot or the Council of the Funny Walk). If I tell a story and something truly unexpected happens that might be funny. There are lots of different kinds of humor but a lot of it depends of some shared assumptions. If you are new to a place, a culture, a group of people, you have to be careful of your assumptions and many times you should not assume that others share them.

In the early days here in California, I was struck again and again by saying things I thought were perfectly normal and having people stare at me and say after a polite pause, “What?” Clearly what I had said to them had not been understood as I meant it, let alone as a humorous remark. I would then retreat and answer politely, and go another day without exchanging any humor with anyone. It was fascinating to watch when I would risk another humorous try. I always considered it a mark of true friendship when I knew someone well enough not to have to think before joking. I also found there were definitely times when I would be taken aback when someone would actually joke with me out of the blue. Be it at the grocery store, or in line at the bank (when one still stood in line at the bank).

I have lived in other parts of the world where language divided me from people and the ability to joke, but this move was the first time I was aware of being denied humor simply because I did not know people well enough to joke with them.

It was also a lesson for me in that I do not want to live long without some humorous interaction. I might have to but I always prefer a little humor…

Recently I had a computer set-back. If you work with computers, and I think the majority of people do these days, you will have some sort of accident, mishap, disaster, meltdown, glitch or simply a little oops moment. Mine was that I had over 1500 photos entered into my IPHOTO on my  home computer. They were in various folders all within that same software program IPHOTO. Some were scanned from old photos. Some were silly snapshots I had taken with my digital camera but liked well enough to save. Some of them documented events, like my cousin’s 90^th birthday party. Some of them were simply shots of images I liked. They comprised over 6 years of photographs. In some cases the original photos date from the 1800s (these were the ones that I had scanned in).

A month ago they all vanished without a clue in a single moment. What happened no one knows. I have had a technician look for them but he could find no clue. After that single moment, one has to move on.

Step One. Accept what has happened. My photos are gone.

Step Two. See if someone can help recover what was lost. I thought of a computer technician I know and engaged him to investigate.

Step Three. Accept it if they say the item is gone, that it is in fact gone. He looked and said he could find no trace of my photos.

Step Four. Move on. So not let this loss stop your enjoyment of photography, of working with computers, of life.

I am in step four. I am moving on. I do not yet know if there are copies of some of those photos elsewhere. I will figure that out when I start rescanning photos. I will miss some of the photos which are not going to be rescanned. I will miss some of the images that can not be recovered. It does me no good to mope or to try and figure out some new technician to ask- I have asked the question and gotten it answered by a good, capable technician who looked for the photos. I think that these situations are good mini practices for the big losses in life.

I am sad, don’t get me wrong. I can’t be too sad though. Part of it is my own fault. Did I back up each photo by saving it somewhere else as well as in IPHOTO? No. That is the end of the story. If I had stored each and every image in IPHOTO and also on a cd-rom,  I would have only lost what was stored on the computer, I would be able to reload the photos and go on with nothing more than a few minutes spent importing the photos.

Granted we can not guard against all of life’s tragedies  but with computers we can safeguard our files by saving them in more than one location. Put your files on a cd-rom, or in another application.  I can put my photos in both IPHOTO and simply elsewhere in a separate folder (that is not connected to IPHOTO).

I also want to stress, this loss like the bigger more important losses that are bound to happen to us, is not something to stop us, not meant to end our enjoyment of life, it is simply a way to remind me in this case to be more vigilant in saving my images and to appreciate them while I have them. Of course in life as in photography, the real lesson is to enjoy your life as you are living it, not rely on some printed form of it to substitute for the real thing.

As you go forth, safeguard your work, savor it while you create it, and then if something happens, you will have had the enjoyment of the moment when you created it as well as the memory of your work. Let my story remind you to safe your work before something happens.

I recently read a great piece by Monique le Conge who is Director of the Richmond, CA Public Library system. She wrote an article entitled 7 Ways Your Public Library Can Help You During Tough Economic Times.
I liked her ideas so much I wanted to customize it; 25 Ways The Hayward Public Library Will Help You Survive Tough Times. Here are my ideas:
1.)    We’re here for you and we lend our materials free of charge. How great is that?! It’s free to get a Hayward Public Library card. It’s the MASTER key that opens every door. The doors of opportunity, of education, of relaxation, of family togetherness, of possibility, and self discovery all can be opened with a free Hayward Public Library card.




2.)    We have public access computers with internet access to help you look for jobs, submit job applications, file your resume on various list servs and receive emails concerning jobs and interviews.




3.)    Those same computers can help you write your resume and we have printers that can print out your resume if you are submitting it in person somewhere.


4.)    Those same computers can also be used to keep in touch with friends and family during these times when we need all the emotional support we can get.

5.)    We loan DVDs and videos to both provide instruction to help you learn something new ( like cooking or Taibo) as well as simple entertainment when you are relaxing.



6.)    We loan audio books and cassettes to help with the commute when you live far away from your job and have quite a commute. The audio books are fiction, nonfiction and language instruction. That means you can enjoy a good mystery while driving, learn Russian or learn Donald trump’s secrets of salesmanship. Put that commute time to good use.


7.)    We also loan downloadable audio books and Ebooks( think free Kindle).Explore these possibilities either during your commute or when doing chores, increase the time you can learn or enjoy books. Someone reads them aloud and you download them to your computer, MP3 player or other device.




8.)    We loan Books. These come in all shapes and sizes, fiction, non-fiction, in various languages and for children, teens and adults. Books can teach us how to write a resume, how to conduct a job interview, how to write a cover letter and which jobs are going to pay us what we need to make. Books can also take us away from the everyday reality by transporting us to another time, another place, even another galaxy. They can make us see the world differently, they can help us to understand the world in which we live and they can help us to change ourselves.



9.)    We have book groups where you can join a community of readers and explore mystery books, literary books, autobiographies, or books from around the globe. These groups can provide a forum for discussions and can also provide a loose structure to explore a subject like autobiography. The group means you don’t have to do all the work yourself. It is not like a college class but it has the rewards without the papers, the exams and the professor. It can provide companionship, intellectual interaction and some great reading.




10.)    We provide computer classes to get you started in the complex world of computers.




11.)    We offer English Conversation groups as a means where people learning English as a Second Language can come together and practice speaking English.




12.)    We also offer a wide range of one time programs ranging from an evening learning about Arabic Calligraphy to Japanese Brush Painting. We offer music  from local musicians, local authors come to talk about their work, we provide programs detailing how to avoid Termites, Fall prevention, craft programs as well as how to improve your writing.



13.)     We offer yoga workshops every month to give you an opportunity to come and learn to relax, to breathe and even to laugh.


14.)    We encourage and teach  literacy as the most fundamental skill that will keep us employed, employable and enjoying life.  We provide this valuable life skill in both English and in Spanish.


15.)    We offer an extensive range of programs for children, starting the day they are born.


16.)    We offer programs for children and their parents together.


17.)    We offer programs for teenagers. Some of these programs are just fun( like crafts), some are  computer games and some of them are actually learning skills and growing as a person- such as a recent photography project that culminated in a city wide gallery showing of their photographs.


18.)    We offer library services for shut-ins and seniors who can no longer get into the library. We bring the library materials out to them.


19.)    We offer a repository for living Hayward local History. We are continuing for a third year to collect video stories of Hayward residents telling of their lives in California and specifically Hayward. Come in and tell us your story. We want to save it for the generations of the present and the future.


20.)    We answer questions. If you need to know how to get to that interview in Oakland but don’t know the way, you can ask us and we can print out a map or show you on your map how best to get there. We can tell you what year Benjamin Franklin was in France if you want to find that out. We can tell you who is offering classes in Excel in the Hayward area if you want to improve your skills. We can give you the telephone number for East Bay Works. We can find the poem that starts; It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. We can answer where to find Health or Medical issue answers(see recent entry in this blog).


21.)    We are going to be here. We have the daily papers, come in and read them. We have magazines you can follow international politics, design from Martha Stewart, Oprah’s monthly interest, magazines explaining men’s health issue. Come in, relax and read them without having to subscribe.


22.)    We loan music cds. Come in and see what relaxing or stimulating music we have from around the country and across the globe.


23.)     We offer free legal help, two to three times a month, we have a lawyer into the lawyer to answer library patron questions. The sessions are brief, just fifteen minutes but they are free, confidential and will help start the solution to the problem bothering you.


24.)    We offer many of these services in Spanish, Chinese, Farsi, Vietnamese and Hindi.


25.)    We have online services such as an online catalog, events blog, Refresh Your Life Blog, reference books, database offerings,  the ability to put  books on hold that  you are looking for, notification of the status of your books, online payment of fines, and many many other online resources.

Taking a line from long ago and far away and changing it a bit…;

Libraries will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no libraries.

(I think this was an R.Crumb line; Drugs will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no drugs. I like mine better- no offense RC)

‘image: www.freeimages.co.uk’

When I hear people talk about public libraries, many people think of old fashioned public libraries. We at Hayward have really changed into one of the new wave of public libraries. We do many things that help people when and where they need that help. We are always interested in hearing from people who have suggestions of how we can use our tools to reach more people. Do any of you have any suggestions? Would people like tweets from the library? If you answer yes, what kind of information would you want to receive? Someone suggested that appropriate tweets would be only when our plans changed; such as if the scheduled “Lawyer in the Library” program was cancelled for one day but was rescheduled for another. Are there other suggestions?

I forgot to mention the other day one other trick I use to remember what is said to me; I write it down. When I listen to a program on tv that interests me, or if I go to hear someone speak, I take notes.

The actual physical act of writing down what is being said while I am hearing it sends an additional message to my brain that this is something I want to remember. It is yet another way to remember it as well, since now I have both heard it and seen it (as I am writing).

Just one more little trick. I would still love to hear from you about the tricks or methods you employ to help you maximize your gifts and minimize your skill deficits.

When I say the library is an oasis, think in the big sense not in the quiet sense. In these days when money is in short supply for everyone, it is a good time to reflect on the wealth of fun and adventure available for free at the Hayward Public Library.

Have you ever heard of Library browsing? This is a great cheap sport. There are no referees, no uniforms and only a few errors that could get you thrown out of the game.

Step 1. You go to your local library, in our case the Hayward Public Library.

Step 2.You pick an area to explore. Let’s say fiction. That’s always fun.

Step 3. You start at a random letter and you look at the shelves. This means you aren’t looking for a particular book. You’re not checking to see if War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy is in. You are simply browsing through the Ms to see if anything appeals.

Now since we have little space and many books, all the titles are showing only their spines. That makes it hard to see enough to judge a book by its cover. This is where the fun comes in.

Step 4. pull out a book, examine it, read the back cover or the inside cover blurbs. Open to a random page and read a paragraph or start at the beginning and read the first page. Does it capture you? Are you interested? Have you ever thought about this as a book to read? The great thing about the library is that you can take it out and try it. If you don’t like it, simply return it the next day and start again.

I can’t tell you how many great authors I have found this way. At a book store, sometimes there is a table of fiction all lying face up and you can browse by covers. This is called marketing and we only have the room to do that with the newest books. In Hayward, we have these set aside in a bookcase near the front door so you can see them as you walk in. new books are fabulous but I would say, do not forget the books that are a little older. They can represent hours of fun without having to wait in line.

We have some other aids to help you in your browsing, we have little stickers on some of the novels. There is one which identifies that the author is African-American, one that identifies the author as Asian and one that identifies the author as Latino/a. These are simply to help you before you pull the book off the shelf to examine it.

We have a separate Mystery section, ditto Science Fiction and Western. We don’t have a separate romance section since isn’t romance a part of almost all of our lives?

If you discover an author who has written a series, we (Librarians) can help you find the other books in the series and how to identify which books come in which sequence.

This same sport can be played in any of the sections of the library including the non-fiction, the audio books, the music CDs, the movies(either video or DVD) and even the EBOOKS.

If you don’t know about the EBOOKs; let me explain them a bit. They are a resource that you sign up for inside the library. Then at home if you have a computer that has internet access, you can access a book that will display on your computer. At home, you read the entire book on your computer screen. These are often used when the entire book doesn’t need to be read but simply a portion has to be referred to for research or other specific non-fiction research. You might have heard of the Amazon.com KINDLE. That device is for EBOOKS. It is a stand alone product. We use your computer so there is no expense  incurred by you using our EBOOKS, as there is with the KINDLE and the books downloaded onto it.

We also have downloadable Audio books that you can access through your computer at home if you have signed up inside the library. These you would listen to at home through your computer and it’s internet link or you can transfer them to an MP3 device.

 Enjoy the Oasis, it is an island of amazing in this land of gloom and doom. Enjoy the American Free Public Library. I know I do.

I was playing cards with some friends on the fourth of July. We were 4 adults playing Spite and malice, drinking tea and coffee and having a good time. As I lay in bed later reflecting on it, I thought how telling it was. I had a relaxing evening and I was savoring it. I know the value of relaxation. There was no cut throat completion, as there can be with some card games. Even one of the people on the evening of the fourth, asked if I played Bridge. I said no, it was too competitive for me. People take it too seriously. If I am going to relax then I do not want to compete. I want to enjoy the little mental puzzles, not any big ones. I know which card to play but if I flub up, no one cares, not even me.
I think that it’s a hard thing for us to learn in this society; when to relax and why. I see people who are ambitious and do not see any value in relaxing. I see people in their careers, fearing relaxing because if they go away for a week, they will not want to go back to that killer schedule, or those mind numbing meetings. They are afraid if they step out of the “rat race” it will move on without them and they will be left behind.
Years ago I was in business for myself. I took no vacations for the first years of my business. I was it. If I wasn’t working, no one was and so no work was getting done. I was single, living alone, it worked fine for about five years and then I felt I needed a break. I took a month off. I went geographically away from my business and home. When I came back I had decided to sell my business and did. To make that decision, I needed perspective that I couldn’t get while running on the treadmill I called my sole proprietorship. I have never regretted either the working so hard on that business nor the decision to sell it.
I now see how important relaxation is to any project. In writing, you need to let the words sit for a period, so you can go back to them fresh and see what is actually on the page, not the projection of what you think you have written. In painting, you need to let the paint dry, you need to come back to it to see the colors and how they interact once dried and set.
In intellectual pursuits, it is just as true. If you’re working on a big paper or project, you need to work and then sit back. You need to be able to clear your mind of the details and the minutiae. You need to be able to look at the big blocks, then go look at the details. Only stepping back, turning your back on these things will let their true nature be revealed as it is.
In fine dining they always say you have to cleanse your palate to be able to appreciate the next course. I think it is also true of your brain especially when creativity is involved. Relaxing is nature’s way of cleansing the palate of your mind so we can appreciate the next course of life, whatever it is.
Ok, so we’ve decided we need to relax. Do something else, what should we do? I mentioned playing cards. I know so many people who see it as a waste of time. You actually spend money to take home 54 little slips of paper and then you waste time flipping them over. Of course some of us see it differently.
I think anything repetitive that requires a bit of mental effort ( not too much) is great for this curative relaxation. Besides playing cards, think knitting (or any needle or thread art( quilting, weaving, spinning, tatting, crocheting, embroidery, macrame ) or walking (we’ve covered this activities benefits in another post ( see May 16th post) I’ve already mentioned crosswords(or any word or number problems Sudoku etc.) and then there are all the logic games like go or chess or checkers.
And then there is reading. It’s a relaxation of a different kind. It can steal us away from our problems and take us for an exciting ride or to a magical land or into the future or far into the past. Reading non-fiction can help educate us about whatever it is we’re working on. If you’re writing, you need to do research. If you’re building, then it’s great to both do research but also surf the web for new and exciting solutions that other people have built. And lest we forget there is also boring reading, that can actually put you to sleep if you need it to.
I wonder at people who do not want to retire. I see retirement as a way to both keep working on my projects versus those from my employer, as a great time to volunteer for the causes I believe in as well as getting through this long list of ways to relax. I’m going to need years to get through testing them all out to see which one works the best.
Keep me posted as to which method works best for you.

I need to say that the program with Jan Wahl last Saturday was a hoot! She talked about her early childhood growing up in Hollywood, she talked about wanting more smart movies, she talked about frustrations we all face. She was fabulous. She was straight forward, warm, fast paced without seeming rushed. She showed some fine clips of old movies that made you want to go out and rent them that very afternoon. When the clock struck she had to go and everyone moaned in sadness. Our two hours with her sped by faster than any spaceship in any movie. It’s rare I talk about the programs we have had here at the library but this one was really special. We will hope to have her back next year if we can raise the necessary funds. Watch some old movies and enjoy when intelligence was still a part of the movies.

Back on April 6, I discussed the benefits of Book Groups. The summer is a great time to reconsider joining one. It’s a great time for reading projects. We can pick simple ones- read the seven books of the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. Don’t worry about the movies, read the books and then consider if you want to watch the movies.(consider joining our Good Enough for Film group. We meet monthly. We invite people to read the book then come watch the film. Usually we have time to discuss the pros and cons of each medium for that title. If interested in joining us, write jody.snyder@hayward-ca.gov)

There are famous reading projects like reading all of the books by Marcel Proust that make up In Search of Lost Time ( Rememberance of Things Past).

There are fun reading projects like starting J.D.Robb’s Eve Dallas series. The first in the series in Naked in Death. It is one of those series where if you read the first and don’t like it, don’t try another one. The converse is true, if you like one, you will like all of them. There are more than 30 in the series so know that if you like the first, you have a lot of enjoyment in front of you.

There are mysteries which I think are infinitely entertaining. Mysteries now come in any size, any culture, any country, any time period, they are great. I enjoy the Elizabeth Peter series featuring Amelia Peabody. They are about Egyptology at the turn of the 20th century. There are mysteries about ancient Rome, about Victorian England, about Napa Valley California, about Boston, whatever you are interested in - there is a mystery for you. Enjoy them.(Consider joining our Women’s Mystery book discussion group. if interested, write heidi.ontiveros@hayward-ca.gov)

There are projects where you explore a new genre. Try to read a graphic novel if you haven’t done that before. There are some great ones besides the most famous Maus I & II by Art Spiegelman, this is about the Holocaust. Try Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, it is about the Iranian Revolution. There are books like 101 Best Graphic Novels by Stephen Weiner where you could preview those 101 graphic novels and see which ones seem best for you.

There are so many great nonfiction books out there, there is no way to limit them enough to suggest one over another. The summer is a great time to explore some area we want to learn about. We could start with Botany of Desire by Michael Pollan where he explains about four plants- Apples, Tulips, Marijuana and potatoes. It’s a fascinating book.

I personally find autobiographies fascinating, try any of the following:

Color of Water by James McBride, A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, Road from Coorain by Jill Ker Conway, Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama, My Life in France by Julia Child, Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali or Tender at the Bone by Ruth Reichl. (Think about joining the Autobiography book group at the Hayward Public Library - if you’re interested write to abbe.kalos@hayward-ca.gov)

There is so much to read. You can read about spirituality, about healthy living, about art, about writing - the list is endless.

Then of course there is the entire globe to explore. We can do that from the comfort of our own living rooms. Read about other countries, cultures and peoples It’s a great way to travel at no cost.

There are two other book groups to mention at the Hayward Public Library.

There is mostly Literary Fiction Book Discussion group. Here we read a wide variety of high quality fiction books. If interested in joining, write to Sally.Thomas@hayward-ca.gov

There is also the Globetrotters Book discussion Group. This group looks at fiction and non fiction from across the globe. If interested in joining, write melesha.owen@hayward-ca.gov

Whatever you chose to explore, do some of it with books. They can take us places we can not physically go, they can help change our thinking, they can help grow our understanding and tolerance, they can educate us, they can amuse us, calm us, inspire us,  and heal us. Granted I am not neutral. I am sort of a fanatic about the power of the word, of the book and of course of the public Library.

Go out and read and send me some reviews — share them with others.

This morning I was out by 6:00am. It was wonderful. The sky was blue, the streets were quiet of cars. The runners were few and unobstructive. The flowers were beautiful. I walk in a cemetery for part of my walk. It is always so manicured, landscaped, the tulips are gone but the rhododendrons were still strongly in bloom. All in all it was so pleasant.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned that I was reading Julia Cameron about writing and she said to walk every day. She says that it is essential for making the mind relax enough to come up with fresh solutions to problems, to percolate thoughts and of course it’s good for your body.

I agree with all that. Medical people would say, walk because it’s a good moderate exercise that will help women over fifty with their bone density issues. It’s good for your posture, your joints, muscles, skin, digestion, everything.

I think it’s also good for your knowledge of where you live. I love to see what’s going on. Did that house finish it’s remodel? Did that rose bush that was cut way back, come back? Oh it did, it looks beautiful. What is that bush? Oh look at the wild turkeys- who would guess you’d see them in a city. It connects you with your surroundings in a way that driving simply can’t. It makes you more aware. It makes you see beauty in the simply everyday things that are around you.

I think it makes living in the city a balance. If you walk everyday, you get your dose of nature, of birds, of flowers, of animals, of people or if you’re going early in the morning of the wonderful city solitude. Then you go inside and do whatever work you do. It’s a balance of the exterior - interior. The noise and the quiet. The multitude - the solitude.

I also think it can make you more aware of issues. You see the empty store fronts, you see new stores come in. There you have the financial crisis and the infinitude of human imagination and the will to try, the will to go out on one’s own and start something new.

Walk around, tell me what you find.